No power in the ‘verse.

I can’t believe today is Monday. I’m having way too good a time for this to be a Monday. It’s a lovely day out, I’m in a very happy mood, there are no giant obstacles in my immediate way, and all my problems seem real.

(But Faery, you ask, why are real problems a good thing? Because, dear reader, when I know my problems are real I also know that they are managable. My own mind and overactive imagination may drag me down on occasion, but I can handle anything reality can throw at me.)

Woke up this morning thinking about – ok, wait, that’s a lie. I woke up at 4 this morning – there was no thinking. There was a slow, groggy climb toward consciousness that culminated in actual awakeness somewhere cloesr to 5.  So a more accurate statement would be that I woke up and then thought about things. Ever have those moments where you sit down and realize, out of the blue, how truly blessed you actually are?

Also been thinking about some of the people in my life, and what they bring to it. The two thoughts are not connected; in fact, they’re opposites.

I spent most of last week rushing around to appointments, beating back the demands of my unsettled schedule, juggling paper work, and running in and out of various dr’s offices. As a result, I feel wonderful, and not just medically. The good thing about stressful situations is the feeling of calm and order after you finally stop trying to manage by organization and just pick a pile and Deal With It. Got a lot accomplished last week. Accomplishing things relaxes me. Ignoring them does not. Taking a break from them does not. Putting them aside till a more conventient time does not. Putting them in neat, orderly piles does, but it’s a temporary solution. More people should realize this about the way I think. Hmm…didn’t intend to mention that, but there it is.

Despite work, I had a really great weekend. Left Clarksville Friday and had dinner with some friends, whereupon I discovered Godiva dark chocolate ice cream. *heaven* 

Saturday I…went to work. Wasn’t too bad, relatively speaking. Afterwards, I fled posthaste o John’s apartment and we grabbed dinner and went to see King Kong!! The excessive use of italics and exclamtion points should indicate to you that I thought the movie was pretty spifftastic, right down to the Sumatran rat monkey reference. Kong himself was…very endearingly portrayed, in some ways. I was charmed. I {heart} Andy Sirkis.  The movie also boasted a (frankly quite funny) dinosaur pile-up that reminded me of a scene from the Lion King, and the Most Gruesome Death Ever. 

Sunday was…more work. Yaaay, work. I was pummelled with fabric and nearly electrocuted by a foam-cutting knife. (which is really just an electric carving knife, but we deal in foam there, not turkey.) 

And thus was the weekend. It’s been a pretty darn good Monday so far, too. And in looking back over this post, taking in it’s content and general mood, I’m recalling a recent conversation. And putting two and two together for a pretty accurate four, but I think the equation could stand to be changed. Two years ago I would not have done what I see myself doing. No reason to do it now either.


Funny how little things, past things, can completely blindside you.

It isn’t funny at all, you know; it’s devastating.

I have simultaneously lost six months of progress and gained a year or so of internal growth, all in the last two hours. Honesty is swimming in a cold pond; I am exhausted but refreshed.

My better judgement said “don’t answer the phone.” My hands reached for it on instinct. All in all, I feel better for that automatic reponse (and the ensuing conversation) than I have for most of my well-planned decisions in the past year.

And there are still things I’m denying. And I still think it’s for the best.

I should be over this all; behaviour that suggests otherwise is behaviour deserving of examination.

Pardon me if I seem a little selfish. I’m more entitled than you know.