The “Old People” Survey

Tired of those surveys made up by high school kids?

‘Have you ever kissed someone?’
‘Missed someone?’
‘Told someone you loved them?’
‘Drank alcohol?’

Here are some questions for the people who are a little more mature… Okay, okay… OLD FOLKS like us…

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Oh, I have it easy right now. Ask me in 6-8 months when we’re in the house…

2. Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Romano’s Macaroni Grill. Where else can you both partake of delicious Italian food in a lovely setting and have your portrait drawn in blue crayon on the table covering?

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Never.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
I’ve never actually been drunk. But I’ve been tipsy enough to know that dancing on the bar is not at all outside the realm of possibility, should I imbibe enough. Thus I avoid it. 

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Estes.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Taking a bath, the cold is killing my shoulder.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Ummm….an archaeologist, a forensic psychologist, a midwife, an opera singer, and briefly, after a really cool episode of ER or somesuch, a pediatric surgeon.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
One, so far.

9. Why did you wear that shirt you have on right now?
I’m not wearing a shirt, I’m wearing a babydoll dress and some stretchy pants, and I wore it because it’s comfortable. And makes me feel pretty. I needed to feel pretty today.

10. GAS PRICES?
$2.03. I remember a conversation I had in a Kroger checkout line a few years ago with a lady. We were so glad that gas prices were down to $1.67 – and the lady said that it was sad that gas prices had gotten so high that we had to be glad when it was only $1.67. Ha.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
Colorado, Georgia, or East Tennessee.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Mmmfff.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I was on Bendryl, I really don’t remember if there were thoughts.

14. Favorite style of underwear?
Boybriefs or thongs. Both have the benefits of not showing underwear lines when I wear pants, and being able to fit over my gratuitous tuckus.

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
I’m really not picky.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Washes dishes and cleaning the sink. Bleh. I’d rather clean toilets. And so I do; and John takes care of the sink. 

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
Not at an art gallery, no.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Somewhere in between.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Um….Maya the Bee? I’ve just really never been a cartoon person. Unless anime counts? Watari Yutaka, if it does.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Talk all night. Or play Taboo, but you really need a crowd for that.

21. A secret that you wouldn’t mind everyone knowing?
If I don’t mind everyone knowing, then chances are you already know.

22. When did you first start feeling old?
I’ll let you know when it happens. (Although…physically…I think this last year would qualify.)

23. Favorite 80’s movie?
Anything from the Molly Ringwald ouvre. Also Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken, I think that was 80’s?

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Grilled chicken.

25. What do you get every time you go into Sam’s Club?
Nothing, as I don’t shop there.

26. Beach or lake?
Beach

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented?
“No, but I think some people’s attitudes to it are outdated.” Answer borrowed from Grant, I can’t really say it better than that.

28. How many people do you stalk on Myspace?
None.

29. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Afternoon naps by a sunny window. Soda when I really don’t need the caffeine. Very occasionally retail therapy, generally in the form of coloured pens and paper, cute girly earrings from Claires, or a small stack of books from Borders.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
I think the most embarrassing thing is probably Bring it On, but I defy any of you to watch that and not have impure thoughts about Kirsten Dunst and Eliza Dushku…

31. What’s your drink?
Grasshopper.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians. Cooler headgear.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Cops. I watch way too much Law and Order.

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Jack FM, I think.

36. Norm or Cliff?
Norm! And for you Deep Space Nine fans: Morn!

37. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Cosby Show.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
There are one or two.

39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Like? Yes, though she’s not my favourite person in the office.

40. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
I wouldn’t kill, but I might hire a bee to sting a few people.

41. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Anthony Hopkins.

42. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Natalie Portman

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No.

44. Last book you read for real?
Just finished re-reading Girl With a Pearl Earring.

45. Do you have a teddy bear?
Many. I’ve collected stuffed animals since I was very small. I collect marbles too, and I have the same standards for both: the more unusual, the better. Hence I have lots of bears, but also aligator handpuppets, a hand-sewn red velvet dragon, and a stuffed purple platypus.

46. Have you ever brushed your teeth?
Yes. Many times.

47. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
That would pretty much anywhere in California. I’ve never even been near it.

48. Number of texts in a day?
That I send? One or two a week. But I get a goodmorning text every week day.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
I have job I could turn into a career and a relationship I’m turning into a marriage. Trust me, I’m good here.

50. Do you go to church?
Not in the traditional sense, no.

51. Pencil or pen?
Pen.

52. What do you want to achieve in life?
“The best-educated and adjusted kids you ever met.” Another borrowed-from-Grant answer. I would add to it…well, I’m not how to put into words what I would add to it. Over the course of the last three years, I’ve seen my grandmother and several of her friends lose spouses. After 50 years or more..it’s like losing a limb. It’s the kind of pain you can’t watch, too raw to look at head-on. You hug and you comfort, and keep your eyes on the floor. The thought occurs that only losing something really wonderful could hurt that badly. I want to know what that is, what it’s like. I want to learn how to make that work, even if I’ve already seen what I’m in for when it’s over.

53. How old are you?
23.

54. Where do you see yourself when you are 40?
Married, in a house somewhere, with a night-blooming garden if my design works out, raising children and a dog and maybe a cat or two. Writing. That’d be nice.